| Lisa Lampanelli: |
|
... Hitler got more laughs than Jimmy Kimmel, and he did it without Jewish writers ... |
| From Comedy Central Roast of Pamela Anderson |
|
| Chris Rock: |
|
... only the good rappers are dead, only the good ones ... Biggie dead, Tupac dead, Vanilla Ice still alive ... |
| From Unknown |
| |
| Also See: Death Quotes Music Quotes |
|
| Adam Sandler (Happy Gilmore): |
|
... the price is wrong, bitch ... |
| From Happy Gilmore |
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes |
|
| Evan Esar: |
|
Life is a card game during the first half of which we get birthday cards, and during the second half get-well cards. |
| From 20,000 Quips & Quotes |
| |
| Also See: Birthday Quotes Book Quotes Life Quotes |
|
| Howard Stern: |
|
... I feel like the white Oprah ... |
| From Late Show with David Letterman on December 12, 2006
|
| |
| Also See: Oprah Winfrey Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Jay Leno: |
|
... how about kids ... you want, you want kids? |
| Dane Cook: |
|
... do I want to have kids ... ah, I want to have sex ... if that's the excuse, sure ... |
| From The Tonight Show on October 25, 2007
|
| |
| Also See: Family Quotes Sex Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Sophia Bush (Brooke Davis): |
|
... a kiss always means something ... |
| From One Tree Hill |
|
| Christopher Walken (Secretary William Cleary): |
|
... nature versus nurture, Lodge, nature always wins ... |
| From Wedding Crashers |
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes |
|
| Will Ferrell (Phil Weston): |
|
... you're my assistant, ok ... you're supposed to back me up and get me juice boxes when I tell you, now go get me a juice box ... |
| Mike Ditka: |
|
... YOU KNOW WHO YOU'RE TALKING TO? |
| Will Ferrell: |
|
... I'm talking to the juice box guy ... |
| Mike Ditka: |
|
... YOU'RE CRAZY ... |
| Will Ferrell: |
|
... I'm not crazy, I'm just thirsty ... |
| Mike Ditka: |
|
... WHY DON'T YOU GO TO HELL ... |
| Will Ferrell: |
|
... NO, YOU GO TO HELL, WHILE YOU'RE THERE, WHY DON'T YOU GRAB ME A JUICE BOX ... |
| From Kicking & Screaming |
| |
| Also See: Crazy Quotes Food Quotes Movie Quotes Sports Quotes |
|
| Jack McBrayer (Glenn): |
|
... so, I was talking to Nana on Saturday and her birthday is coming up, but, I don't know what to get her, she's gonna be 88 ... |
| Pit Crew Member: |
|
... get her a coffin ... |
| From Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby |
| |
| Also See: Birthday Quotes Movie Quotes |
