| Robert Pattinson (Edward Cullen): |
|
... I think you'll find the human vampire divorce rate is a little lower ... |
| From The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
|
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes Twilight Saga Quotes |
|
| Jim Carrey (Lloyd Christmas): |
|
... I want to ask you a question straight out, what do you think the chances are of a girl like me and a guy like you getting together? |
| Lauren Holly (Mary Swanson): |
|
... well Lloyd that is difficult to say ... |
| Jim Carrey: |
|
... level with me ... |
| Lauren Holly: |
|
... not good ... |
| Jim Carrey: |
|
... you mean not good like one out of a hundred? |
| Lauren Holly: |
|
... I would say more like one out of a million ... |
| Jim Carrey: |
|
... so you are telling me there is a chance ... |
| From Dumb & Dumber
|
| |
| Also See: Famous Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Homer Simpson: |
|
... it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume ... |
| From The Simpsons
|
|
| Kristen Stewart (Bella Swan): |
|
... I'm not afraid of you, I'm only afraid of losing you ... |
| From Twilight
|
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes Twilight Saga Quotes |
|
| Joseph Gordon-Levitt (Cameron James): |
|
... Bianca says that Kat likes pretty guys ... |
| Heath Ledger (Patrick Verona): |
|
... are you telling me I'm not a pretty guy? |
| David Krumholtz (Michael): |
|
... he's very pretty ... |
| Joseph Gordon-Levitt: |
|
... yeah I, I just wasn't sure, I didn't know ... |
| From 10 Things I Hate About You
|
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes |
|
| Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson): |
|
... you don't bring a date to a wedding, that's like bringing a deer carcass to a hunting trip ... |
| From How I Met Your Mother
|
| |
| Also See: Death Quotes Sports Quotes Wedding Quotes |
|
| Brad Pitt (Rusty Ryan): |
|
... he died ... |
| George Clooney (Danny Ocean): |
|
... on the job? |
| Brad Pitt: |
|
... skin cancer ... |
| George Clooney: |
|
... did you send flowers? |
| Brad Pitt: |
|
... I dated his wife for a while ... |
| From Ocean's Eleven
|
| |
| Also See: Death Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Busy Philipps (Laurie Keller): |
|
... if Matt Damon weren't married, and if he weren't a movie star, and if he lived in this town ... I really think we would date ... |
| Courteney Cox (Jules Cobb): |
|
... that's a lot of ifs ... |
| Christa Miller (Ellie Torres): |
|
... yet not enough ... |
| From Cougar Town
|
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes |
|
| Ice-T (Detective Fin Tutuola): |
|
... one divorce is enough for me, how did you do it 4 times? |
| Richard Belzer (Detective John Munch): |
|
... you've got to play to win ... |
| From Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (SVU)
|
|
| Jay Leno: |
|
... any boyfriends? |
| Natalie Portman: |
|
... you ... |
| Jay Leno: |
|
... now I am going to jail ... |
| From The Tonight Show
on February 22, 2006
|
| |
| Also See: Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Greg Giraldo: |
|
... it's good to see that little weirdo Teller here, what a freak ... usually Tom Arnold's the only guy in the room who's made a living doing absolutely nothing besides hooking up with a fat slob with a bad hairdo ... |
| From Cheech & Chong: Roasted
|
|
| Donald Faison (Dr. Christopher Turk): |
|
... you and Elliot did go through a lot ... |
| Judy Reyes (Nurse Carla Espinosa): |
|
... you two have been on and off again more than Ross and Rachel from Friends ... |
| Zach Braff (Dr. John Dorian): |
|
... pshh, please I'm nothing like Ross ... |
| John C. McGinley (Dr. Perry Cox): |
|
... oh, ofcourse not, you're Rachel, she's Ross ... |
| From Scrubs
|
| |
| Also See: Friends Quotes |
|
| Chyler Leigh (Dr. Lexie Grey): |
|
... where's your girlfriend? |
| Justin Chambers (Dr. Alex Karev): |
|
... back with her husband, I'm guessing, and I don't have a girlfriend ... |
| Chyler Leigh: |
|
... or a conscience apparently ... |
| From Grey's Anatomy
on January 10, 2008
|
|
| Rocky La Porte: |
|
... you know how they say you never forget your first school teacher, I had mine like 4 years in a row ... I was dating her by the time I got out of that joint ... |
| From Comedy Central Presents
|
| |
| Also See: Graduation Quotes School Quotes |
|
| Will Smith (Del Spooner): |
|
... you're a shrink ... my ex wife would be glad I am talking to you ... you don't know her do you? |
| Bridget Moynahan (Susan Calvin): |
|
... I'm sorry, are you being funny? |
| Will Smith: |
|
... I guess not ... |
| From I, Robot
|
| |
| Also See: Doctor Quotes Family Quotes Happy Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Oprah Winfrey: |
|
... New Yorkers are thanking you [Kate Hudson for dating Alex Rodriquez and the Yankees winning the World Series] ... |
| From The Oprah Winfrey Show
|
| |
| Also See: Baseball Quotes Sports Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| David Letterman: |
|
... I think sex on the first date is ... |
| Jessica Alba: |
|
... fine ... |
| David Letterman: |
|
... fine, you said that sort of unenthusiastically ... like ... fine, like getting a good parking place ... |
| Jessica Alba: |
|
... sometimes a good parking place is better ... |
| From Late Show with David Letterman
|
| |
| Also See: Sex Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Seann William Scott (Wheeler): |
|
... let me guess, you're not really rolling with the ladies at school, are you Augie? |
| Christopher Mintz-Plasse (Augie Farks): |
|
... oh no, I'm, I'm really good friends with the school nurse, she's a divorce ... |
| From Role Models
|
| |
| Also See: Friendship Quotes Movie Quotes School Quotes |
|
| Rodney Dangerfield: |
|
... when I met my wife I wanted sex in the worst way and I got it ... |
| From Mad TV
|
| |
| Also See: Sex Quotes |
|
| Christina Applegate (Kelly Bundy): |
|
... enough, if I wanted intelligent conversation, I'd still be dating my teachers ... |
| From Married with Children
|
| |
| Also See: School Quotes |
|
| Ellen Page (Juno MacGuff): |
|
... he is the cheese to my macaroni ... |
| From Juno
|
| |
| Also See: Food Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Regis Philbin: |
|
... what is it like to be 23 and dating Eva Longoria? |
| Eva Longoria: |
|
... I think it is pretty fabulous ... |
| From Live with Regis & Kelly
|
| |
| Also See: Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Seth Rogen (Cal): |
|
... you should ask her out, man ... |
| Steve Carell (Andy Stitzer): |
|
... there's something wrong with her underpants ... |
| Seth Rogen: |
|
... yeah, they're not in my mouth ... |
| From The 40 Year Old Virgin
|
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes |
|
| Vince Vaughn (Peter La Fleur): |
|
... well keep your chin up, there's someone out there for everybody ... |
| Joel Moore (Owen): |
|
... you think? |
| Vince Vaughn: |
|
... absolutely, you know in some cases there's two somebodies for one person ... I like to call that the jackpot ... |
| From Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
|
| |
| Also See: Inspirational Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Christina Applegate (Kelly Bundy): |
|
... that's my date, tell him I am not home ... |
| David Faustino (Bud Bundy): |
|
... why don't you tell him? |
| Christina Applegate: |
|
... good idea ... |
| From Married with Children
|
|
| Christina Applegate (Veronica Corningstone): |
|
... Ron, there are literally thousands of men that I should be with instead, but I am, 72% sure I love you ... |
| From Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
|
| |
| Also See: Love Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Luke Wilson (Mitch Martin): |
|
... true love is hard to find ... sometimes you think you have true love and then you take the early flight home from, San Diego, and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a God damn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend ... |
| From Old School
|
| |
| Also See: Love Quotes Movie Quotes Sex Quotes |
|
| Eliza Dushku: |
|
... I've dated chimney sweepers ... |
| Artie Lange: |
|
... you're dating in the 1800s? |
| From Howard Stern Show
on February 12, 2009
|
| |
| Also See: Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Sarah Jessica Parker (Carrie Bradshaw): |
|
... he's not my boyfriend, he's just someone I'm trying on ... |
| From Sex and the City
|
|
| Sara Ramirez (Dr. Callie Torres): |
|
... alone people don't like to hear about the together people, ok, even if the alone people are alone by choice, it's sort of mean, it's sort of like bringing a six pack to an AA meeting ... |
| From Grey's Anatomy
on February 6, 2009
|
| |
| Also See: Drug Quotes |
|
| Tina Fey (Liz Lemon): |
|
... Floyd's moving on, I'm moving on too, I'm just doing it in my own order, I'm gonna get the wedding dress, and then I'm gonna have a baby, and then I'm gonna die, and then I'm gonna meet a super cute guy in heaven ... |
| From 30 Rock
|
| |
| Also See: Death Quotes Family Quotes Wedding Quotes |
|
| Dane Cook (Mitch Burns): |
|
... dude, is there a rock on her left hand? |
| Steve Carell (Dan Burns): |
|
... uh, no, not yet ... |
| Dane Cook: |
|
... then all is fair ... |
| From Dan in Real Life
|
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes |
|
| Kristen Stewart (Lucy Hardwicke): |
|
... so ... think I'm dating the quarterback of the football team ... I don't know, does it get more breakfast club than that ... |
| From In the Land of Women
|
| |
| Also See: Football Quotes Movie Quotes Sports Quotes |
|
| Howard Stern: |
|
... I wish Brad Pitt would dump me for Angelina Jolie [like Jennifer Aniston was] ... |
| Robin Quivers: |
|
... please dump me ... |
| Howard Stern: |
|
... you know how many radios we would sell ... |
| From Howard Stern Show
on November 19, 2008
|
| |
| Also See: Brad Pitt Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Dane Cook: |
|
... I'm dating a younger sexier crowd ... |
| From Retaliation
|
|
| Courteney Cox (Monica Geller): |
|
... come on, Rach, when a guy says he's going to call, it doesn't mean he's going to call ... this never happened to you? |
| Jennifer Aniston (Rachel Green): |
|
... they always call ... |
| Courteney Cox: |
|
... bite me ... |
| From Friends
|
|
| Howard Stern: |
|
... every relationship is based on trust until you meet someone new ... |
| From Howard Stern Show
on April 16, 2007
|
| |
| Also See: Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Rita Rudner: |
|
... relationships, they don't last anymore, you know, when I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is, is this the man I want my childen to spend their weekends with ... |
| From Women of the Night
|
| |
| Also See: Family Quotes |
|
| Seann William Scott (E.L.): |
|
... every time you pass up sex, you are cheating on yourself ... |
| From Road Trip
|
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes Sex Quotes |
|
| Tracy Morgan: |
|
... I've dated all the females on Flavor of Love ... |
| From Howard Stern Show
on October 29, 2008
|
| |
| Also See: Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Jimmy Kimmel: |
|
... isn't that the point of relationships, you both aren't having a good time but you're both there ... |
| From Jimmy Kimmel Live
on February 2, 2007
|
| |
| Also See: Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Will Smith (Del Spooner): |
|
... this relationship can't work ... you're a cat, I'm black ... and I am not going to be hurt again ... |
| From I, Robot
|
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes |
|
| Chandra Wilson (Dr. Miranda Bailey): |
|
... I would like to offer my thoughts on Dr Sloan [to all of you nurses] ... |
| Eric Dane (Dr. Mark Sloan): |
|
... you're doing great ... |
| Chandra Wilson: |
|
... uh, this man is a whore, has always been a whore, will probably always be a whore, but that is not secret, he's not keeping it hidden, you all knew who he was before you got involved with him, and now you want to be all "woe is me, he's not calling me back, he's dating other women," he's nasty, but he's a doctor, here, and a pretty good one ... so let us all close our knees and get back to our jobs, so he can get back to his job, and help the people that really need it ... |
| From Grey's Anatomy
on May 8, 2008
|
| |
| Also See: Doctor Quotes |
|
| Lisa Lampanelli: |
|
... what am I your girlfriend or a genital wart? |
| From Howard Stern Show
on September 6, 2007
|
| |
| Also See: Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Sara Ramirez (Dr. Callie Torres): |
|
... anyone ever think you two a, couple? |
| Ellen Pompeo (Dr. Meredith Grey): |
|
... no, because we screw boys like whores on tequila ... |
| Sandra Oh (Dr. Cristina Yang): |
|
... then we either try to marry them or drown ourselves ... |
| Sara Ramirez: |
|
... huh ... |
| From Grey's Anatomy
on May 1, 2008
|
| |
| Also See: Death Quotes Drug Quotes Sex Quotes |
|
| Nancy Walls (Health Clinic Counselor): |
|
... now you're all here because you're interested in obtaining birth control, any questions? |
| David Koechner (Dad at Health Clinic): |
|
... here's a cute story, I came home the other day, and he [the son] is with his girlfriend in my matrimonial bed, doing things that are illegal in Alabamba, sex acts, right, things that my wife won't do, ok? |
| Nancy Walls: |
|
... did you have a question? |
| David Koechner: |
|
... how do I get my wife to do that? |
| From The 40 Year Old Virgin
|
| |
| Also See: Cute Quotes Drug Quotes Family Quotes Movie Quotes Sex Quotes |
|
| Sean Young (Lt. Lois Einhorn): |
|
... how would you like me to make your life a living hell ... |
| Jim Carrey (Ace Ventura): |
|
... I am not really ready for a relationship right now, but thank you for asking ... |
| From Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
|
| |
| Also See: Life Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Sophia Bush (Brooke Davis): |
|
... what kind of boyfriend takes his guy roomate camping for the weekend ... |
| Hilarie Burton (Peyton Sawyer): |
|
... Jake Gyllenhaal? |
| Sophia Bush: |
|
... that's nice ... |
| From One Tree Hill
on March 18, 2008
|
|
| David Arquette (Gus): |
|
... what's the best thing about dating homeless girls, you can drop them off anywhere ... |
| From 3000 Miles to Graceland
|
| |
| Also See: Best Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Denis Leary (Tommy Gavin): |
|
... you're basically saying this is, this relationship is kind of, doomed ... |
| Gina Gershon (Valerie): |
|
... well, aren't they all? |
| From Rescue Me
|
|
| James Lafferty (Nathan Scott): |
|
... what else did you tell him? |
| Antwon Tanner (Skills): |
|
... not much, just the truth ... |
| James Lafferty: |
|
... like? |
| Antwon Tanner: |
|
... like, the Man killed Tupac and Biggie, never date girl's named Bevin, and Santa Claus is black ... |
| James Lafferty: |
|
... wow, say anything about the Easter Bunny? |
| Antwon Tanner: |
|
... a bunny that lay eggs, man, you know how many questions he would ask about that? |
| From One Tree Hill
|
| |
| Also See: Christmas Quotes Death Quotes Easter Quotes Holiday Quotes Santa Claus Quotes |
|
| Cynthia Nixon (Miranda Hobbes): |
|
... if they're not married, they're gay or going through a divorce or aliens from the planet Don't Date Me ... |
| Sarah Jessica Parker (Carrie Bradshaw): |
|
... it's amazing how many of them walk among us now, only recognizable by their slightly larger heads ... |
| From Sex and the City
|
|
| Jay Leno: |
|
... now, do you believe in the concept of marriage, are you a marriage guy? |
| Dane Cook: |
|
... I do believe in the concept of marriage ... |
| Jay Leno: |
|
... in the concept ... |
| Dane Cook: |
|
... I would like to keep my a ceremony very small, very intimate, I don't believe in an ostantacious wedding, because I want to save my money for the divorce ... |
| Jay Leno: |
|
... you want to plan ahead ... |
| From The Tonight Show
on October 25, 2007
|
| |
| Also See: Talk Show Quotes Wedding Quotes |
|
| Matt Damon (Will Hunting): |
|
... hey, does this [hugging] violate the doctor patient relationship? |
| Robin Williams (Sean Maguire): |
|
... only if you grab my ass ... |
| From Good Will Hunting
|
| |
| Also See: Doctor Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Christopher Titus (Brody Johns): |
|
... even good relationships change, I mean, look at Janelle and I, when we first met, I did everything for her ... |
| Joshua Malina (Karl Mixworthy): |
|
... you still do everything for her ... |
| Christopher Titus: |
|
... yeah, but now I don't fight it ... |
| From Big Shots
|
|
| Lauren Holly (Mary Swanson): |
|
... so, you will pick me up at 7:45 tonight ... |
| Jeff Daniels (Harry Dunne): |
|
... well, I have a couple of things to do tonight, how about a quarter to 8 ... ok lets make it 7:45 ... |
| From Dumb & Dumber
|
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes |
|
| David Schwimmer (Dr. Ross Geller): |
|
... I am just going to go home and think about my ex-wife and her lesbian girlfriend ... |
| Matt LeBlanc (Joey Tribbiani): |
|
... to hell with hockey, lets all do that ... |
| From Friends
|
| |
| Also See: Hockey Quotes Sports Quotes |
|
| Sandra Oh (Dr. Cristina Yang): |
|
... you can't date a vet, he isn't even a real doctor ... |
| From Grey's Anatomy
|
| |
| Also See: Doctor Quotes |
|
| Robin Williams (Sean): |
|
... I don't regret the 18 years married to Nancy, I don't regret the 6 years where I had to give up counseling when she got sick
or even the years when she was really sick, and I definitely don't regret missing the game ... that is regret for you ... |
| Matt Damon (Will): |
|
... it would have been nice to catch that game ... |
| Robin Williams: |
|
... I didn't know Pudge was going to hit a home run ... |
| From Good Will Hunting
|
| |
| Also See: Baseball Quotes Movie Quotes Sports Quotes |
|
| Justin Chambers (Dr. Alex Karev): |
|
... so you're together but you don't talk to each other ... |
| Sandra Oh (Dr. Cristina Yang): |
|
... yes ... |
| Justin Chambers: |
|
... I have to find a woman like that ... |
| From Grey's Anatomy
on January 18, 2007
|
|
| Homer Simpson: |
|
... welcome to dumpville, population you ... |
| From The Simpsons
|
|
| Russ Meneve: |
|
... I have bad luck with women ... my last 4 pregnant girlfriends all died in sailboat accidents ... |
| From The Comedy Cellar
on February 4, 2006
|
| |
| Also See: Death Quotes Pregnant Quotes |
