| Artie Lange (Lou's Cousin): |
|
... I'll have the chicken and I'll have the waffles, heavy on the chicken, heavy on the waffles, and uh, why don't you give me a fruit salad for my conscience ... |
| John Scurti (Lou Shea): |
|
... I'll have the same, hold the fruit ... |
| From Rescue Me |
| |
| Also See: Food Quotes |
|
| Howard Stern: |
|
... what's with this you never having a drink? |
| Dane Cook: |
|
... I look at Artie and feel he is me in another dimension ... |
| From Howard Stern Show on November 4, 2009
|
| |
| Also See: Drinking Quotes Drug Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Howard Stern: |
|
... Brad Pitt doesn't have a brain in his head ... |
| Robin Quivers: |
|
... now stop that, Brad Pitt is building a smart New Orleans ... |
| Howard Stern: |
|
... what? |
| Artie Lange: |
|
... was the old one dumb? |
| From Howard Stern Show on October 1, 2007
|
| |
| Also See: Brad Pitt Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Artie Lange: |
|
... she [Jessica Biel] was born the year I got my first DWI ... |
| From Late Night with Conan O'Brien |
| |
| Also See: Birthday Quotes Drinking Quotes Drug Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Artie Lange: |
|
... if you are a black woman, you get two history months in a row ... |
| From Howard Stern Show on March 4, 2009
|
| |
| Also See: History Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Artie Lange: |
|
... you know the day I met my mother, I weighed 7 and 1/2 lbs ... |
| David Letterman: |
|
... you gained a little weight since then ... |
| Artie Lange: |
|
... since I met my mother, I have put on 293 and 1/2 lbs ... |
| From Late Show with David Letterman on March 3, 2009
|
| |
| Also See: Family Quotes Mother Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Artie Lange: |
|
... She [Heather Mills] has more money from music than John Mellencamp ... |
| From Howard Stern Show on April 30, 2007
|
| |
| Also See: Music Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Artie Lange: |
|
... it is great doing a talk show with Nicole Ritchie ... |
| David Letterman: |
|
... she's lovely, isn't she? |
| Artie Lange: |
|
... besides being lovely, backstage I got to eat all of her food ... |
| From Late Show with David Letterman |
| |
| Also See: Food Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Artie Lange: |
|
... in Hollywood, there is another name for a woman's 40th birthday party, it's a retirement party ... |
| From Howard Stern Show on February 9, 2009
|
| |
| Also See: Birthday Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Eliza Dushku: |
|
... I've dated chimney sweepers ... |
| Artie Lange: |
|
... you're dating in the 1800s? |
| From Howard Stern Show on February 12, 2009
|
| |
| Also See: Relationship Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Artie Lange: |
|
... I want to see Toby [Maguire] fight Christian Bale ... |
| From Howard Stern Show on May 2, 2007
|
| |
| Also See: Batman Quotes Christian Bale Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Artie Lange: |
|
... I found a way for her to fall asleep, Paris Hilton, talk to herself ... |
| From Howard Stern Show on June 4, 2007
|
| |
| Also See: Paris Hilton Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Artie Lange (Sam McKenna): |
|
... you thinking what I'm thinking? |
| Norm MacDonald (Mitch Weaver): |
|
... no, no, I have a plan ... |
| From Dirty Work |
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes |
|
| Artie Lange (Artie DeVanzo): |
|
... hey, you think Marilyn can get one of her friends to go with me last minute? |
| Jimmy Palumbo (Johnny Trinno): |
|
... look Art, Marilyn's female friends are all lawyers and bankers and executives ... |
| Artie Lange: |
|
... so what are you saying, they are too good for me? |
| Jimmy Palumbo: |
|
... no, no, I was trying to let the silence say it for me ... |
| From Beer League |
| |
| Also See: Friendship Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| John Scurti (Lou Shea): |
|
... you guys eat something before you joined us? |
| Steven Pasquale (Sean Garrity): |
|
... we did, we had a couple of burgers at the Bistro ... |
| Artie Lange (Lou's Cousin): |
|
... perfect ... its good to have some food in your belly ... this way when the puking starts you got something to, you know, heave up instead of the lining of your stomach ... |
| From Rescue Me |
| |
| Also See: Drinking Quotes Drug Quotes Food Quotes |
|
| Artie Lange (Artie DeVanzo): |
|
... a home run ties it, I'm going for it ... |
| Ralph Macchio (Maz): |
|
... don't be stupid, no one's hit one out of here since Dave Delafara of '89 ... |
| Artie Lange: |
|
... why do you think I can't do it too? |
| Ralph Macchio: |
|
... because he bench pressed 400 lbs and you sweat when you eat ... |
| Artie Lange: |
|
... so did Babe Ruth ... |
| From Beer League |
| |
| Also See: Baseball Quotes Movie Quotes Sports Quotes |
|
| Artie Lange: |
|
... you know what, Hank Azaria is right, you [George Takei] are creepy ...
|
| From Howard Stern Show on December 4, 2007
|
| |
| Also See: George Takei Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Robin Quivers: |
|
... Iran is against the movie 300 ... |
| Artie Lange: |
|
... I guarantee Iran didn't like Animal House too ... |
| From Howard Stern Show |
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Jeffrey Ross: |
|
... Artie [Lange] wants to go to Iraq, which is a coincidence because his weight just hit 911 ... |
| From Howard Stern Show on January 23, 2008
|
| |
| Also See: Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Artie Lange: |
|
... Dane Cook is a phenomenon ... |
| From Howard Stern Show on December 4, 2007
|
| |
| Also See: Dane Cook Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Artie Lange: |
|
... last week, who would you think would live longer, me or Heath Ledger? |
| From Howard Stern Show on January 23, 2008
|
| |
| Also See: Heath Ledger Quotes Life Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Artie Lange (Gimbel's Santa): |
|
... and ah what can I get you for Christmas ... |
| Will Ferrell (Buddy): |
|
... Paul, don't tell him what you want, he's a liar ... |
| Artie Lange: |
|
... let the kid talk ... |
| Will Ferrell: |
|
... you disgust me, how can you live with yourself? |
| Artie Lange: |
|
... just cool it zippy ... |
| Will Ferrell: |
|
... you sit on a throne of lies ... |
| Artie Lange: |
|
... look, I'm not kidding ... |
| Will Ferrell: |
|
... you're a fake ... |
| Artie Lange: |
|
... I'm a fake? |
| Will Ferrell: |
|
... yes ... |
| Artie Lange: |
|
... how'd you like to be dead? |
| From Elf |
| |
| Also See: Christmas Quotes Death Quotes Holiday Quotes Movie Quotes Santa Claus Quotes |
|
| Artie Lange: |
|
... women will do anything she [Oprah Winfrey] says, and that is why we can't have women voting ... |
| From Howard Stern Show on September 24, 2007
|
| |
| Also See: Oprah Winfrey Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Artie Lange: |
|
... the [Boston Red] Sox probably want you to make a movie [like Fever Pitch where they won the World Series] about them every year ... |
| Jimmy Fallon: |
|
... the [Chicago] Cubs are starting to send me scripts ... |
| From Howard Stern Show on June 18, 2007
|
| |
| Also See: Baseball Quotes Boston Red Sox Quotes Movie Quotes Sports Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Cara Buono (Linda Salvo): |
|
... what happened to you? |
| Artie Lange (Artie DeVanzo): |
|
... oh this, uh, I saw 3 guys mugging an old lady, so I got involved ... |
| Cara Buono: |
|
... really? |
| Artie Lange: |
|
... yeah, she was a tough old broad, but in the end we got her purse ... |
| From Beer League |
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes |
|
| Jeffrey Ross: |
|
... you [Artie Lange] are like the Chris Farley of satellite radio ... |
| From Comedy Central Roast of William Shatner |
| |
| Also See: Chris Farley Quotes |
|
| Artie Lange: |
|
... Dane Cook I found out recently is a work horse, he doesn't drink ... |
| Bob Saget: |
|
... he is your antithesis, he is changing his name to Artie 180 ... |
| From Howard Stern Show on August 23, 2007
|
| |
| Also See: Dane Cook Quotes Drug Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Artie Lange: |
|
... I am fine now, I have never felt better in my life ... |
| Howard Stern: |
|
... Chris Farley told me that ... Chris Farley told me that right before he died ... |
| From Howard Stern Show on January 8, 1998
|
| |
| Also See: Chris Farley Quotes Death Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Artie Lange: |
|
... we [Artie and Jessica Biel] don't even look like we are in the same species ... |
| From Late Night with Conan O'Brien |
| |
| Also See: Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Artie Lange: |
|
... Sanjaya [Malakar] became bigger than US Steel ... |
| From Howard Stern Show on May 10, 2007
|
| |
| Also See: Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Artie Lange: |
|
... Jason [Alexander] is a committed actor, he went from working on a show about nothing to actually doing nothing ... |
| From Comedy Central Roast of William Shatner |
|
| Artie Lange: |
|
... never let the truth get in the way of a good story ... |
| From Howard Stern Show on January 29, 2007
|
| |
| Also See: Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Artie Lange: |
|
... I want to play devil's advocate here ... Robin [Quivers], who says you can't break the law ... |
| From Howard Stern Show on January 24, 2007
|
| |
| Also See: Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Shuli: |
|
... people say Artie [Lange] models his career after John Belushi .... but that isn't true, Belushi had one good movie .... and he knew when to die ... |
| From Howard Stern Show on June 9, 2006
|
| |
| Also See: Death Quotes Movie Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Artie Lange: |
|
... you know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went "wait, don't curse" ... |
| From Howard Stern Show |
| |
| Also See: Family Quotes Father Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
