| Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson): |
|
... you don't bring a date to a wedding, that's like bringing a deer carcass to a hunting trip ... |
| From How I Met Your Mother
|
| |
| Also See: Death Quotes Relationship Quotes Wedding Quotes |
|
| Will Ferrell (Tiger Woods): |
|
... what can I say, I'm the best, in your face ... |
| From ESPY Awards
on July 20, 2008
|
| |
| Also See: Best Quotes |
|
| Sandra Bullock (Margaret Tate): |
|
... [I am not getting in the boat] you know I can't swim ... |
| Ryan Reynolds (Andrew Paxton): |
|
... hence the boat ... |
| From The Proposal
|
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes |
|
| Homer Simpson: |
|
... let me say, I have always admired the Irish, Mitt Romney, Larry Bird, and especially Mr Potato Head ... |
| From The Simpsons
|
| |
| Also See: Basketball Quotes Irish Quotes Political Quotes |
|
| Jim Norton: |
|
... who better personifies just do it, than Tiger Woods ... |
| From The Jay Leno Show
|
| |
| Also See: Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Merle Kessler: |
|
Football players, like prostitutes, are in the business of ruining their bodies for the pleasure of strangers. |
| From San Francisco Chronicle
on November 13, 1985
|
| |
| Also See: Book Quotes Football Quotes |
|
| Will Ferrell (Tiger Woods): |
|
... people are always asking, Tiger, how do you do it, and my answer is shut up ... I ask the questions around here, I'm Tiger Woods ... |
| From ESPY Awards
on July 20, 2008
|
|
| Rip Torn (Patches O'Houlihan): |
|
... if you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball ... |
| From Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
|
| |
| Also See: Inspirational Quotes Movie Quotes Scary Quotes |
|
| Oprah Winfrey: |
|
... New Yorkers are thanking you [Kate Hudson for dating Alex Rodriquez and the Yankees winning the World Series] ... |
| From The Oprah Winfrey Show
|
| |
| Also See: Relationship Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Nick Swisher: |
|
... when I grow up I want to be like Alex Rodriguez ... |
| From an interview
on October 20, 2009
|
|
| H.L. Mencken: |
|
College football would be more interesting if the faculty played instead of the students - there would be a great increase in broken arms, legs and necks. |
| From 20,000 Quips & Quotes
|
| |
| Also See: Book Quotes Football Quotes School Quotes |
|
| Rick Pitino: |
|
... when you have a problem, if you tell the truth your problem becomes part of your past, if you lie it becomes a part of your future ... |
| From Press Conference
on August 12, 2009
|
| |
| Also See: Basketball Quotes Inspirational Quotes |
|
| Jim Gaffigan: |
|
... peanut butter and chocolate is my favorite team ... |
| From The Opie and Anthony Show
on March 24, 2009
|
| |
| Also See: Food Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Barack Obama: |
|
... I've been practicing bowling, I bowled a 129, which is good, I have ... |
| Jay Leno: |
|
... oh no, that's very good, yeah, no that's very good Mr President ... |
| Barack Obama: |
|
... it was, it was like Special Olympics or something ... |
| From The Tonight Show
on March 19, 2009
|
| |
| Also See: Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Babe Ruth: |
|
I've never heard a crowd boo a homer, but I've heard plenty of boos after a strike-out. |
| From 20,000 Quips & Quotes
|
| |
| Also See: Book Quotes |
|
| Gary Cole (Cotton McKnight): |
|
... ladies and gentlemen, prepare to witness the greatest happening in sports, sudden death dodgeball ... |
| Jason Bateman (Pepper Brooks): |
|
... Pepper needs new shorts ... |
| From Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
|
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes |
|
| Peter Griffin: |
|
... I heard you ran into my identical twin at the ballgame yesterday ... and if you don't buy that, I am sorry for going to the game yesterday ... |
| From Family Guy
|
| |
| Also See: Family Quotes |
|
| Michael Sheen: |
|
... I said to him [David Frost], it must be so strange, to ah, to watch someone being, you on stage, and the events of your life ... and he said, "Michael, in the words of Yogi Berra, it's like Deja Vou, all over again" ... and ah, and I thought he was hilarious, because I thought he's quoting Yogi Bear, a cartoon character, I had no, no idea who Yogi Berra was ... |
| From Late Show with David Letterman
on December 9, 2008
|
| |
| Also See: Life Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Paul Johansson (Dan Scott): |
|
... you know what they call the best player on a losing team? |
| James Lafferty (Nathan Scott): |
|
... a loser ... |
| Paul Johansson: |
|
... bingo, a loser ... |
| From One Tree Hill
|
| |
| Also See: Basketball Quotes Best Quotes |
|
| Will Ferrell (Phil Weston): |
|
... I almost had you ... |
| Robert Duvall (Buck Weston): |
|
... what do you call that again when you almost win ... oh yeah yeah yeah, losing ... |
| From Kicking & Screaming
|
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes |
|
| Joe Paterno: |
|
... the will to win is important but the will to prepare is vital ... |
| From Crossword Puzzle
on January 29, 2009
|
| |
| Also See: Football Quotes Inspirational Quotes |
|
| Shia LaBeouf (Sam Witwicky): |
|
... that wasn't like a real tryout, I was researching a book I was writing ... |
| Travis Van Winkle (Trent): |
|
... oh yeah? |
| Shia LaBeouf: |
|
... yeah ... |
| Travis Van Winkle: |
|
... yeah, what's it about .. sucking at sports? |
| Shia LaBeouf: |
|
... no, it's about the link between brain damage and football ... no, it's a good book, your friends will love it, you know, its got mazes in it, and, you know, little coloring areas, sections, pop up pictures, it's a lot of fun ... |
| From Transformers
|
| |
| Also See: Book Quotes Football Quotes Friendship Quotes Love Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Kristen Stewart (Lucy Hardwicke): |
|
... so ... think I'm dating the quarterback of the football team ... I don't know, does it get more breakfast club than that ... |
| From In the Land of Women
|
| |
| Also See: Football Quotes Movie Quotes Relationship Quotes |
|
| Homer Simpson: |
|
... hi Lisa, feeling self conscious about your shins, in my day girls were worried about their boobs ... |
| Yeardley Smith (Lisa Simpson): |
|
... Dad, I am going to play soccer ... |
| From The Simpsons
|
|
| Rachael Ray: |
|
... I don't run unless I'm chased by a gun ... |
| From Rachael Ray Show
on October 16, 2008
|
| |
| Also See: Talk Show Quotes |
|
| John Caponera: |
|
... who knew the pilgrims liked football so much ... |
| From Comedy Time
|
| |
| Also See: Football Quotes Holiday Quotes Thanksgiving Quotes |
|
| Vince Vaughn (Jeremy Grey): |
|
... sailing is like sex to these people ... |
| From Wedding Crashers
|
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes Sex Quotes |
|
| Demetri Martin: |
|
... I used to compete in sports a lot ... but then I realized you can buy trophies ... now I'm good at everything ... |
| From Unknown
|
|
| Judah Friedlander: |
|
... a black belt in Isreal is like a bright pink belt in any other country ... |
| From Jay Thomas Show
|
| |
| Also See: Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Donald Faison (Dr. Christopher Turk): |
|
... what am I doing playing golf, it is so Tiger Woods's fault ... |
| From Scrubs
|
|
| Artie Lange (Artie DeVanzo): |
|
... a home run ties it, I'm going for it ... |
| Ralph Macchio (Maz): |
|
... don't be stupid, no one's hit one out of here since Dave Delafara of '89 ... |
| Artie Lange: |
|
... why do you think I can't do it too? |
| Ralph Macchio: |
|
... because he bench pressed 400 lbs and you sweat when you eat ... |
| Artie Lange: |
|
... so did Babe Ruth ... |
| From Beer League
|
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes |
|
| Leslie Nielsen (Lt. Frank Drebin): |
|
... yes, that would be me, I have been swimming in raw sewage ... and I love it ... |
| From The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear
|
| |
| Also See: Famous Quotes Love Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Will Ferrell (Dave): |
|
... just feed me the rock, through the hoop, swish, count it, go in the locker room, take a shower ... |
| From Undeclared
|
| |
| Also See: Basketball Quotes |
|
| Dave Foley: |
|
... many American's believe that our national anthem is O Canada, simply because we enjoy singing it before hockey games ... but in fact our national anthem is The Night Chicago Died by Paper Lace ... |
| From Mad TV
|
| |
| Also See: Music Quotes |
|
| Ellen Page (Juno MacGuff): |
|
... I hear they, they [China] give away babies like free iPods ... you know they pretty much just put them in those t-shirt guns, choo, shoot them out at sporting events ... |
| From Juno
|
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes |
|
| Jimmy Kimmel: |
|
... and you just did a movie with Owen Wilson ... |
| Rachel McAdams: |
|
... yeah, and Vince Vaughn and Christopher Walken plays my dad ... |
| Jimmy Kimmel: |
|
... oh wow, that's allright ... |
| Rachel McAdams: |
|
... you can see the resemplence ... |
| Jimmy Kimmel: |
|
... what's the name of that movie? |
| Rachel McAdams: |
|
... ah, Wedding Crashers ... |
| Jimmy Kimmel: |
|
... Wedding Crashers, allright, is that like Dodgeball? |
| Rachel McAdams: |
|
... I dodged a few, balls ... |
| From Jimmy Kimmel Live
|
| |
| Also See: Family Quotes Father Quotes Movie Quotes Owen Wilson Quotes Talk Show Quotes Vince Vaughn Quotes Wedding Crashers Quotes |
|
| Muhammad Ali: |
|
There are more pleasant things to do than beat up people. |
| From The 2,548 Best Things Anybody Ever Said
on June 26, 1979
|
| |
| Also See: Book Quotes |
|
| Dane Cook: |
|
... lot of Boston guys here tonight, Denis [Leary], we've got Lenny Clarke, we've got Nick [DiPaolo], Mario [Cantone], who knew Red Sox's curse affected comedians' careers ... |
| From Comedy Central Roast of Denis Leary
|
| |
| Also See: Harmful If Swallowed Quotes Retaliation Quotes |
|
| George Foreman: |
|
... I've got 5 sons, I named them all George ... |
| Jay Leno: |
|
... that my favorite thing, they're all named, but you actually never told me why, I didn't know, I never asked you why ... |
| George Foreman: |
|
... well, you get hit on the head by Muhammad Ali, Joe Frazier, Ken Norton, Evander Holyfield, see how many names you gonna remember ... |
| From The Tonight Show
|
| |
| Also See: Family Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Howard Stern: |
|
... give me a prediction of the final score [for Super Bowl 2008] ... |
| Junior Seau: |
|
... I guarantee it will start zero zero ... |
| From Howard Stern Show
|
| |
| Also See: Football Quotes Super Bowl Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Tom Cruise (Jerry Maguire): |
|
... I will not rest until I have you holding a Coke, wearing your own shoe, playing a Sega game featuring you while singing your own song in a new comercial starring you, broadcast during the Super Bowl in a game that you are winning, and I will not sleep until that happens ... |
| From Jerry Maguire
|
| |
| Also See: Food Quotes Football Quotes Movie Quotes Music Quotes Super Bowl Quotes |
|
| Bill Vaughan: |
|
Any American boy can be a basketball star if he grows up, up, up. |
| From 20,000 Quips & Quotes
|
| |
| Also See: Basketball Quotes Book Quotes Inspirational Quotes |
|
| Thomas Mitchell (Bantam Draper): |
|
... America's greatest president ... |
| David Spade (Rand): |
|
... it's me Rand, open up ... |
| Thomas Mitchell: |
|
... America's greatest president ... |
| David Spade: |
|
... damnit, who is Ronald Reagan ... |
| Thomas Mitchell: |
|
... a casual shoe for yachting ... |
| David Spade: |
|
... what are you trying to figure BD, who could I be ... what is a bluker ... |
| Thomas Mitchell: |
|
... who killed Jesus Christ ... |
| David Spade: |
|
... who are the Jews, open up sucko ... |
| From PCU
|
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes Political Quotes Ronald Reagan Quotes |
|
| Will Ferrell (Phil Weston): |
|
... you're my assistant, ok ... you're supposed to back me up and get me juice boxes when I tell you, now go get me a juice box ... |
| Mike Ditka: |
|
... YOU KNOW WHO YOU'RE TALKING TO? |
| Will Ferrell: |
|
... I'm talking to the juice box guy ... |
| Mike Ditka: |
|
... YOU'RE CRAZY ... |
| Will Ferrell: |
|
... I'm not crazy, I'm just thirsty ... |
| Mike Ditka: |
|
... WHY DON'T YOU GO TO HELL ... |
| Will Ferrell: |
|
... NO, YOU GO TO HELL, WHILE YOU'RE THERE, WHY DON'T YOU GRAB ME A JUICE BOX ... |
| From Kicking & Screaming
|
| |
| Also See: Crazy Quotes Food Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Mitch Hedberg: |
|
... I would like to go fishing and catch a fish stick, that would be convenient ... |
| From Mitch All Together
|
|
| Paul Westhead: |
|
If Shakespeare had been in pro basketball he never would have had time to write his soliloquies. He would always have been on a plane between Phoenix and Kansas City. |
| From The 2,548 Best Things Anybody Ever Said
|
| |
| Also See: Basketball Quotes Book Quotes William Shakespeare Quotes |
|
| Dane Cook: |
|
... I was sweating like Shaq at the foul line ... |
| From Dane Cook: Rough Around the Edges at MSG
on November 18, 2007
|
| |
| Also See: Basketball Quotes Shaquille O'Neal Quotes |
|
| Lance Armstrong: |
|
... I think you better hurry up or you're gonna be late ... |
| Vince Vaughn (Peter La Fleur): |
|
... uhh, actually I decided to quit, Lance ... |
| Lance Armstrong: |
|
... quit ... you know once I thought about quitting when I was diagnosed with brain, lung, and testicular cancer ... all at the same time ... but with the love and support of my friends and family I got back on the bike, and I won the Tour De France 5 times in a row, but I am sure you have a good reason to quit ... so what are you dying from that is keeping you from the finals? |
| Vince Vaughn: |
|
... right now it feels a little bit like, shame ... |
| Lance Armstrong: |
|
... well, I guess if a person never quit when the going got tough, they wouldn't have anything to regret for the rest of their life ... but good luck to you Peter, I am sure this decision won't haunt you forever ... |
| From Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
|
| |
| Also See: Family Quotes Friendship Quotes Love Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Mitch Hedberg: |
|
... I think Pringles's initial intention was to make tennis balls ... but on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up a big old truck of potatoes arrived ... but Pringles is a laid back company, they said "cut them up" ... |
| From Unknown
|
| |
| Also See: Food Quotes |
|
| Will Ferrell (Chazz Reinhold): |
|
... funerals are insane, the chicks are so horny, its not even fair, its like fishing with dynamite ... |
| From Wedding Crashers
|
| |
| Also See: Death Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Adam Sandler (Paul Crewe): |
|
... you play football? |
| Chris Rock (Caretaker): |
|
... man, I'm so bad at sports, they used to pick me after the white kids ... |
| From The Longest Yard
|
| |
| Also See: Football Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Artie Lange: |
|
... the [Boston Red] Sox probably want you to make a movie [like Fever Pitch where they won the World Series] about them every year ... |
| Jimmy Fallon: |
|
... the [Chicago] Cubs are starting to send me scripts ... |
| From Howard Stern Show
on June 18, 2007
|
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Catman Cohen: |
|
We need to place velvet ropes around the hospitals, fire-stations, schools, soldiers barracks, and police stations of this nation. People should line up in front of those buildings, begging for entrance, as though they were the hottest nightclubs in the nation. It should be a privilege, no less than a divine honor, to touch or receive an autograph from a nurse, fireman, soldier, teacher, or cop today. They are the heroes we need to reclaim desperately or we will perish in a society whose caretakers have become pretty heiresses, porno muscle-heads, ball players, fame groupies, and aspiring entertainers. |
| From CatmanCohen.com
|
| |
| Also See: Inspirational Quotes School Quotes |
|
| Stephen Colbert: |
|
... I even know the difference between hockey and baseball ... people, baseball is the one with the fat people ... |
| From The Colbert Report
|
| |
| Also See: Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Vince Vaughn (Peter La Fleur): |
|
... hang on a second, you want to become a cheerleader to prove to a girl that you are not a loser? |
| Justin Long (Justin): |
|
... yeah ... why? |
| Vince Vaughn: |
|
... nothing, just high school's changed a little since I was a kid ... |
| From Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
|
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes School Quotes |
|
| James Hong (Master Wong): |
|
... real ping pong is not played for trophies, it is played in the shadows, in dark alleys, in back rooms for hard cash ... and cheap ugly women ... |
| From Balls of Fury
|
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes |
|
| Mitch Hedberg: |
|
... I play tennis, the thing that is depressing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as the wall, I played a wall once, their relentless ... |
| From Unknown
|
|
| David Schwimmer (Dr. Ross Geller): |
|
... I am just going to go home and think about my ex-wife and her lesbian girlfriend ... |
| Matt LeBlanc (Joey Tribbiani): |
|
... to hell with hockey, lets all do that ... |
| From Friends
|
| |
| Also See: Relationship Quotes |
|
| Christopher Walken (Feng): |
|
... ping pong ... or, as the Chinese say, ping pong ... |
| From Balls of Fury
|
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes |
|
| Dan Hedaya (Kamehl Butabi): |
|
... besides, all men are nervous the night before their wedding ... |
| Will Ferrell (Steve Butabi): |
|
... oh, you mean, all guys are nervous and anxious ... and kinda hopes she eats a can of bochelism ... or, or maybe she can hang out with a deer and a hunter accidentally shoots her ... or or you know when she's sleeping she makes that nose whistling sound and you shake her to make her be quiet but what you'd really like to do is take her stupid little red tooth brush and ram it up her nostril into her skull ... |
| Dan Hedaya: |
|
... these are perfectly normal feelings ... |
| Will Ferrell: |
|
... ok ... |
| From A Night at the Roxbury
|
| |
| Also See: Death Quotes Inspirational Quotes Movie Quotes Wedding Quotes |
|
| Craig T. Nelson (Coach): |
|
... what do you guys have that none of the other teams have? |
| Will Ferrell (Chazz Michael Michaels): |
|
... matching junk? |
| Craig T. Nelson: |
|
... exactly ... |
| From Blades of Glory
|
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes |
|
| Vince Vaughn (Jeremy Grey): |
|
... Mr Environmental is also a hunter, its kinda an interesting combination ... |
| Bradley Cooper (Zachary Lodge): |
|
... I hunt quail Jeremy, they are over populated in this region and they are decimating the grubworm population, you have a ****ing problem with that? |
| Vince Vaughn: |
|
... not nearly as much as the atire you have on or your general point of view towards everyone, but lets go kill some birds, I am psyched ... |
| From Wedding Crashers
|
| |
| Also See: Death Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Robin Williams (Sean): |
|
... I don't regret the 18 years married to Nancy, I don't regret the 6 years where I had to give up counseling when she got sick
or even the years when she was really sick, and I definitely don't regret missing the game ... that is regret for you ... |
| Matt Damon (Will): |
|
... it would have been nice to catch that game ... |
| Robin Williams: |
|
... I didn't know Pudge was going to hit a home run ... |
| From Good Will Hunting
|
| |
| Also See: Movie Quotes Relationship Quotes |
|
| Dane Cook: |
|
... I was very good at kickball ... I was wonderful at ah doing that kick and your leg goes up and your shoe went on top of the school ... |
| From Late Night with Conan O'Brien
on June 15, 2006
|
| |
| Also See: School Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Dane Cook: |
|
... it is a pitch I call crap where I didn't want it to go ... |
| From Late Night with Conan O'Brien
on June 15, 2006
|
| |
| Also See: Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Big Prisoner: |
|
... will you teach me how to play football? |
| Chris Rock (Caretaker): |
|
... I will do whatever you want, just don't eat me ... |
| From The Longest Yard
|
| |
| Also See: Football Quotes Movie Quotes |
