| David Letterman: |
|
... get Dad a tie for Father's Day because I don't know if you have noticed this or not but America is getting more and more formal ... |
| From Late Show with David Letterman
on June 12, 2008
|
| |
| Also See: Father's Day Quotes Holiday Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Jay Leno: |
|
... what does your dad do? |
| Natalie Portman: |
|
... my dad's an infertility specialist ... |
| Jay Leno: |
|
... oh is that right? |
| Natalie Portman: |
|
... yeah ... |
| Jay Leno: |
|
... well he can't be that good, you're here ... |
| From The Tonight Show
on February 22, 2996
|
| |
| Also See: Family Quotes Pregnant Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Norm MacDonald (Frank): |
|
... when I graduated first grade all my father did for me was, tell me to get a job ... |
| From Billy Madison
|
| |
| Also See: Family Quotes Graduation Quotes Movie Quotes School Quotes |
|
| Will Ferrell (Dave): |
|
... ok, easy, easy, allright, I'm not your daddy here ... |
| From Undeclared
|
|
| Homer Simpson: |
|
... kids, this is the holiest night of the year, tomorrow is Father's Day, and that makes tonight, Father's Day Eve ... |
| From The Simpsons
|
| |
| Also See: Father's Day Quotes Holiday Quotes |
|
| Craig Ferguson: |
|
... my Father's mother was Irish, so I feel that St Patrick's Day is a day that I can ignore ... |
| From Late Show with David Letterman
|
| |
| Also See: Family Quotes Holiday Quotes Irish Quotes Mother Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Jimmy Kimmel: |
|
... well you're Jewish ... |
| Eli Roth: |
|
... yes ... |
| Jimmy Kimmel: |
|
... it must have been a thrill, what did your parents think about [being in Inglorious Bastards]? |
| Eli Roth: |
|
... uh, well my parents, my parents were very proud, they always see their boy grow up to kill Nazis, is something they always dreamed of ... |
| From Jimmy Kimmel Live
|
| |
| Also See: Death Quotes Family Quotes Mother Quotes Movie Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Chris Pine: |
|
... [my dad Robert Pine] he slapped Mr Shatner on the shoulder and said, "Hello son," which I think Shatner just gave him a look ... the death stare or something ... |
| Jimmy Kimmel: |
|
... yeah yeah ... |
| Chris Pine: |
|
... yeah, I don't think that worked out all that well, no ... |
| Jimmy Kimmel: |
|
... he was lucky he didn't get hit with a Phasor ... |
| Chris Pine: |
|
... yeah, right ... |
| Jimmy Kimmel: |
|
... well, so Dad didn't exactly help things is what you're saying ... |
| From Jimmy Kimmel Live
|
| |
| Also See: Death Quotes Family Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Kate Hudson (Alexis): |
|
... my parents hate you ... |
| Dane Cook (Tank): |
|
... but, they'll come around ... except your mother ... and your dad ... |
| From My Best Friend's Girl
|
| |
| Also See: Family Quotes Mother Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Deanna Russo (Sarah Graiman): |
|
... Mike and I are just friends ... |
| Bruce Davison (Charles Graiman): |
|
... friends, that what they calling it these days? |
| Deanna Russo: |
|
... Dad, eww ... |
| From Knight Rider
on December 31, 2008
|
| |
| Also See: Family Quotes Friendship Quotes |
|
| Heath Ledger (The Joker): |
|
... you remind me of my father ... I hated my father ... |
| From The Dark Knight
|
| |
| Also See: Batman Quotes Family Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Jimmy Kimmel: |
|
... like Redd Foxx you dropped one of the X's ... |
| Megan Fox: |
|
... I didn't, my dad did, I know ... |
| Jimmy Kimmel: |
|
...why would he do that? |
| Megan Fox: |
|
... I don't know ... |
| Jimmy Kimmel: |
|
... wow, you should have 3 X's on yours though ... |
| From Jimmy Kimmel Live
on June 7, 2007
|
| |
| Also See: Family Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Sarah Vowell (Violet Parr): |
|
... Mom and Dad's lives could be in jeopardy, or worse, their marriage ... |
| Spencer Fox (Dash Parr): |
|
... their marriage ... so, the bad guys are trying to wreck Mom and Dad's marriage? |
| Sarah Vowell (Violet Parr): |
|
... oh forget it, you're so immature ... |
| From The Incredibles
|
| |
| Also See: Family Quotes Life Quotes Mother Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Geraldine Hughes (Marie): |
|
... his father was from Jamaica ... |
| Sylvester Stallone (Rocky Balboa): |
|
... Jamaica, European ... |
| From Rocky Balboa
|
| |
| Also See: Family Quotes |
|
| Harvey Keitel (Lt. Gene Hunt): |
|
... you're here to make me curse the day my Father's sperm asked my Mama's egg if he could have this dance ... |
| From Life on Mars
on October 9, 2008
|
| |
| Also See: Family Quotes Mother Quotes Sex Quotes |
|
| Evan Esar: |
|
Father's Day and Mother's Day are alike, except that on Father's Day you buy a much cheaper gift. |
| From 20,000 Quips & Quotes
|
| |
| Also See: Book Quotes Family Quotes Father's Day Quotes Holiday Quotes Mother Quotes Mother's Day Quotes |
|
| David Letterman: |
|
... if you're looking for the perfect Father's Day gift for an older dad, for an older dad ... how about Barbara Walters ... |
| From Late Show with David Letterman
on June 12, 2008
|
| |
| Also See: Family Quotes Father's Day Quotes Holiday Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Holly Hunter (Elastigirl): |
|
... just a little trouble with Daddy ... |
| Sarah Vowell (Violet Parr): |
|
... you mean Dad's in trouble or Dad is the trouble? |
| Holly Hunter (Elastigirl): |
|
... I mean, either he's in trouble or he's going to be ... |
| From The Incredibles
|
| |
| Also See: Family Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Julie Kavner (Marge Simpson): |
|
... I invited Selma here to watch Grampa watch the kids ... |
| Julie Kavner (Selma Bouvier): |
|
... for some reason she doesn't trust him, maybe its the bang up job he did raising you ... |
| Homer Simpson: |
|
... he was a great dad, every year he got so mad when Santa didn't bring me presents ... |
| From The Simpsons
|
| |
| Also See: Christmas Quotes Family Quotes Holiday Quotes Marge Simpson Quotes Santa Claus Quotes |
|
| Sean Connery (Professor Henry Jones): |
|
... I think they're [the Nazis] trying to kill us ... |
| Harrison Ford (Indiana Jones): |
|
... I know, Dad! |
| Sean Connery: |
|
... its a new experience for me ... |
| Harrison Ford: |
|
... happens to me all the time ... |
| From Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
|
| |
| Also See: Death Quotes Family Quotes Movie Quotes |
|
| Yeardley Smith (Lisa Simpson): |
|
... no Dad, we are supposed to conserve energy ... |
| Homer Simpson: |
|
... Lisa, if we conserve energy then the environmentalists win ... |
| From The Simpsons
|
|
| Jimmy Kimmel: |
|
... and you just did a movie with Owen Wilson ... |
| Rachel McAdams: |
|
... yeah, and Vince Vaughn and Christopher Walken plays my dad ... |
| Jimmy Kimmel: |
|
... oh wow, that's allright ... |
| Rachel McAdams: |
|
... you can see the resemplence ... |
| Jimmy Kimmel: |
|
... what's the name of that movie? |
| Rachel McAdams: |
|
... ah, Wedding Crashers ... |
| Jimmy Kimmel: |
|
... Wedding Crashers, allright, is that like Dodgeball? |
| Rachel McAdams: |
|
... I dodged a few, balls ... |
| From Jimmy Kimmel Live
|
| |
| Also See: Dodgeball Quotes Family Quotes Movie Quotes Owen Wilson Quotes Sports Quotes Talk Show Quotes Vince Vaughn Quotes Wedding Crashers Quotes |
|
| Topher Grace (Eric Forman): |
|
... Daddy, be my Valentine ... |
| Kurtwood Smith (Red Forman): |
|
... do I have to hit you ... go to your room ... |
| From That '70s Show
|
| |
| Also See: Family Quotes Holiday Quotes Valentine's Day Quotes |
|
| Jon Stewart: |
|
... don't confuse it [Father's Day] with Valentine's Day, and here's why ... boy will you creep him out ... uh I can just tell you from last year, uh, even if they do like chocolate, they don't want it from their son ... |
| From The Daily Show
on June 5, 2002
|
| |
| Also See: Family Quotes Father's Day Quotes Food Quotes Holiday Quotes Talk Show Quotes Valentine's Day Quotes |
|
| John C. McGinley (Dr. Perry Cox): |
|
... but I am afraid you have me confused with someone who gives a crap, and its ok, you don't need to be embarrased, it happens all the time, my father actually made the same mistake on his death bed ... |
| From Scrubs
|
| |
| Also See: Death Quotes Family Quotes Scary Quotes |
|
| Jack Handey: |
|
... I think the best Thanksgiving we ever had was one where we didn't even have a turkey ... Mom and Dad sat us kids down and explained that business hadn't been good at Dad's store, so we couldn't afford a turkey ... we had vegetables and bread and pie, and it was just fine ... later on I went into Mom and Dad's bedroom to thank them and I caught them eating a little turkey ... I guess that really wasn't the best Thanksgiving ... |
| From SNL (Saturday Night Live)
|
| |
| Also See: Best Quotes Family Quotes Food Quotes Holiday Quotes Mother Quotes Thanksgiving Quotes |
|
| Dane Cook: |
|
... Slip 'N Slide, yeah ... it would have been fun if Dad checked for rocks before he put it down ... Slip 'N Bleed From the Anus they should have called this ride ... |
| From Harmful If Swallowed
|
| |
| Also See: Family Quotes |
|
| Catman Cohen: |
|
Increasingly, I see all adults as mere babies in grown-up bodies ... and sometimes I fantasize about what it would be like to become everybody's surrogate father ... and just do my best to protect each and every person against the evils of the world that harm and defeat so many good souls. |
| From CatmanCohen.com
|
| |
| Also See: Best Quotes Family Quotes |
|
| Ellen Pompeo (Dr. Meredith Grey): |
|
... I am not pregnant ... |
| Sandra Oh (Dr. Cristina Yang): |
|
... you don't know who the father is, do you? |
| From Grey's Anatomy
|
| |
| Also See: Family Quotes Pregnant Quotes |
|
| Artie Lange: |
|
... you know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went "wait, don't curse" ... |
| From Howard Stern Show
|
| |
| Also See: Family Quotes Talk Show Quotes |
|
| Nancy Cartwright (Bart Simpson): |
|
... Dad, I am glad you are still alive ... |
| Homer Simpson: |
|
... yes, it is every parent's dream to outlive their children ... |
| From The Simpsons
|
| |
| Also See: Family Quotes Happy Quotes |
